"Do You Know What Today is?"

When I was a tiny tot, I looooved to read and one of the very first books my parents gave me was a beautiful, colorfully-illustrated kid-friendly version of the autobiography of Dr. King. There were even days where dad would play vinyls of Dr. King’s speeches and I’d listen as he talked to me about his own personal experiences.

Every single year, whether he got it off or not, dad would always take today as a personal holiday. And he *always* celebrated it. And every single year, on this day, even though he knew I knew, he’d always call or text & say, “you know what today is, right?”

From a young age, my parents found it important that we talk about race because it was simply something that I couldn’t ignore. It was important to my dad that I knew where I came from & remember that I did not get to where I am now on my own.

Today is an important day of celebration & remembrance in my household and I hope that it’s not just another day off for you. Honor, reflect, and find ways that you can make yourself of service today & every day.

Be Water

I've been having a difficult time making decisions lately - crippled by the fear of making the wrong one. Today, my friend reminded me that the beauty of life is that nothing is permanent. People, places, things - they all flow in and out of our lives, constantly changing.

Truth is, there are no “right” & “wrong” decisions. Just the ones you make and the ones you don’t. If something doesn’t feel right, you can always make a change.

As Bruce Lee so wisely said, “be water.” Flow & move. Never be afraid to make a wrong choice, or worse, let your fears paralyze you into not moving at all. Be like water. Flow. 🌊

P.S. If you have the opportunity to, I highly recommend watching Bao Ngyuen’s Be Water, which is part of ESPN’s 30 for 30 series. There’s so much I never knew about Bruce and his timeless wisdom is the perfect reminder that we still need to hear today.

Flowers of Gratitude

 - Thankful for the stillness this year brought: a reminder that it’s okay and very much possible (& necessary) for a go, go, go gal like me to sloooow down

- Thankful for hugs 🐻 (a note to self to squeeze every single person who allows it once it’s safe to once again)

- Thankful for flowers 🌻 many of which were honestly just downright necessary for some self-love & care

- Thankful for all the healthcare workers who have worked day in and day out to care for our loved ones with kindness and compassion, especially in moments where we couldn’t be there to hold their hands

- Thankful for the many beautiful & kind souls who lifted me up with love this year when my legs couldn’t stand ❤️

- Thankful for the abundance in my life: love, family, friendship, opportunity, passion, and everything in between

- Thankful for the hard lessons this year has taught us. i know the scars will remind us of our strength when tough times come back around.

Although this year brought its ups and downs, i hope the joy continues to outweigh the rain. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone - wishing you all love, warmth, and peace to fill your homes & hearts.

Love People Better

At the very beginning of this year, I asked derrick to walk with me to a local coffee shop that I’d been wanting to scope out. The shop is known for its handwritten “notes of joy” on their coffee cups, so you can see how this would be right up my alley. I thought it’d be a nice way to ring in the new year - with my first #pancakewisdom sighting of the year.

my cup said, “2020 resolutions: 𝚖̶𝚊̶𝚔̶𝚎̶ ̶𝚖̶𝚘̶𝚛̶𝚎̶ ̶$̶; 𝚠̶𝚘̶𝚛̶𝚔̶ ̶𝚖̶𝚘̶𝚛̶𝚎̶ ̶𝚑̶𝚘̶𝚞̶𝚛̶𝚜̶; love people better.” as life would have it, the pandemic took care of the first two right away.

Up until a few months ago, I didn’t really think much of what it meant to love “better.” I figured I knew? But, the more this year threw my way, the more I re-examined.

What does it mean to love better?

Well, for starters, how are you spending your time? Is it with the people you love? Do the people you love know that you love them? Are you sure? How are you using your energy? Are you making time for the people who are important to you? How do you show them that you care? How do you show your gratitude - even when things are hard? Are you taking care of yourself?

Eight months ago, I did not think of these questions in the same way I do now, if at all. This year has been a lot for all of us. And with each day, it seems like there is more to carry. But, my hope is that as this year continues to force us to slow down, we continue to use our time to re-examine.

I recently read a personal essay that urged that in this time of uncertainty we’re all experiencing, now is the time to love out loud; to “live intentionally in our actions and in the love we show” others.

What does it mean to love people better? I’m unsure there’s a perfect answer; but, I am certain that we can all resolve to do so. Be kind & wrap each other in love.

All it Takes is One

It’s no secret that the last few months have been difficult for more reasons than one. While I was hurting at home, the world was hurting, too.⁣⁣

Throughout my life, I’ve found writing to be a form of therapy. It’s funny because I’m always mistakenly described as a “quiet” gal (because I prefer to listen rather than talk). but I’ve never really been “quiet.” in fact, I find myself to be quite loud with my words. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
These last few months, we saw the world slowly open their eyes to the pain that many of us in the Black community have felt and experienced for years. recently, I had an unfortunate experience with a brand that I formerly supported and like usual, I talked to dad about it. that day, he prayed that we could get someone to share my story. “all it takes is one,” he said. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I didn’t get to share this final piece with him, but I did get to see him smile when I told him that it was coming.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Thank you, to @thebolditalic + @medium for hearing me and giving me the opportunity to share my words. Thank you to everyone who amplified my voice and used their own to help me shout. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
If you take one thing away from this admittedly long post, let it be the reminder that all it takes is one - one person to speak up, one person to make a difference, one person to make a change. never underestimate your ability to be that one. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
This one’s for you, dad ❤️

When is it Safe to Run?

When I was younger, my dad used to go out jogging every morning at 5 or 6 am before work. I never really understood it until I got older, but my mom always pleaded that he jog at a different time - “When there’s light out,” she’d say, or “When it safer to.” ⁣

I’m not an early bird and never was, so at that age, I assumed 5 am was a dangerous time for anyone who was out there running. As I got older, my dad kept jogging and I started to understand the real reason behind my mom’s pleas. ⁣
⁣
I can’t pretend to tell any of you how many times my father has gotten stopped while out for a run in our neighborhood. But, I can tell you it’s enough times for me to vividly remember the fear in my mom’s eyes. The anger in my dad’s. The collective sadness in both. ⁣
⁣
I’m much older now and not much has changed. My dad can’t go out for jogs anymore, but if he could, would I now be the one begging him to reconsider? I can’t imagine a life in which my father is not there. Truly. And my heart breaks for those who have to live with the reality a loved one gone... simply because he wanted to go on a jog, or walk home with skittles, or ask for help, or just live. ⁣
⁣
I recognize my immense privileges and implore those of you who read this to take a minute to do the same. It is my responsibility to remind those of you with the privilege of being able to simply live to stand up and use your voice for those whose voices cannot be heard. ⁣

Todo Va A Estar Bien

During this time, taking the time to go out for a short neighborhood walk has been one of the highlights of my day. I love smiling behind my mask & waving at strangers from a distance. I love finding sidewalk chalk with happy messages from the neighborhood kids. I love making derrick stop every five minutes to take a photo of said messages 😅⁣

⁣
Funnily enough, at the beginning of the year when I was making a list of the goals & practices that I wanted to work on, I wrote down “take more walks. explore. get some air.” Little did I know that it would take... a pandemic... to make me appreciate a daily walk outside my doors. ⁣
⁣
Life has a funny way of giving us what we ask for. Perhaps that is why I take comfort in knowing that everything will eventually be okay. As my friend reminded me today, “if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

Joy in Stillness

 Bright side of being inside:⁣

⁣
• Rekindling with my inner child & making time to “play”⁣
⁣
• Finally “having time” to film + edit videos - something that’s been on my to-do list for a handful of years now⁣
⁣
• Learning that working out at home *is* possible & enjoyable ⁣
⁣
• Guilt-free afternoon cat naps 😸⁣
⁣
• And, maybe my favorite thus far: giving myself the time to reset, sloooooow down 🐌 and get comfortable with not having a million things on my to-do list⁣
⁣
For those who can, I hope you’re able to find joy in the stillness, too.

Wisdom Wednesday

"A pessimist is somebody who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks." - Oscar Wilde

Whenever I can, I try to be as positive as possible. Don't get me wrong, it's sometimes very hard. With the daily stress of work and life (and everything in between), negative thoughts can definitely creep their way in there. But, whenever things get too hard for me to handle, I always try to keep the bigger picture in mind. I think to myself, "What am I working towards and how will I get there?" Before we can achieve "success," we mustn't be afraid to get a little dirty. Sometimes difficult situations are just little tests preparing us for our bigger goal. If it's hard now, remember that it won't be hard forever, because all things have a way of working themselves out. So instead of complaining about all the hard work that comes your way, change your tune and remember that hard work now only leads to a sweeter payoff later. 

Wisdom Wednesday

“The wisest mind has something yet to learn.” - George Santayana

I first saw this truck pass by me back in early August of last year. I still remember the moment. I thought to myself, "What a great photo this would make," but I was too slow to pull out my phone to snap a photo. Fast forward six months and lo and behold what do I see parked on the street as I'm walking home from work? The same truck with the same message: "Never stop learning." I've always been one of those nerdy types - you know, the kind that loves to learn? And as much as I love the message painted on the truck, I think what strikes me more is that I found the truck again. It took a while, but I found it.

I hate to get deep on y'all about a truck (of all things), but I can't help but reflect and relate. Sometimes you go through life and you become disappointed because certain moments pass by and you're unable to hold on to them. Then, later in life, if you're lucky the moment returns to you (though, not always in the same way). So what did I learn when that truck popped back up in my life? It helped me to remember that if something is meant to be, it will be. Don't waste time dwelling on things that didn't happen or things that didn't work out. If it's meant to happen... it will.

Ha, can you believe all of this came from a random pick-up truck? Happy Wednesday, y'all. 

Wisdom Wednesday

"Don't refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase - that's what wild geese are for." -- Author Unknown

It's only fitting that my first Wisdom Wednesday of the new year is a reminder to take a chance and enjoy the unknown. We get so wrapped up in our day to day making plans for tomorrow and the day after and the day after that, that sometimes we forget to enjoy everything around us. One of the biggest lessons I learned (or re-learned?) last year was to stop worrying so much about the future and all of it's "what if's." Instead, I learned it's much more important to concentrate on all the things I actually have control over.  How does that relate with today's wisdom? Well, for one, last year's lesson taught me that I should never be afraid to try new things and that sometimes life's whackadoo detours are actually the paths I should be taking. When things seem like that they are not going according to the plan, don't be afraid to throw out the plan and trust the journey. I have found that everything in life happens not to us, but for us. Once you start accepting that and don't mind a few wild goose chases, you'll find that you're right on track to find the golden egg.

Happy Wednesday, everyone. Let's make it a good one.

Wisdom Wednesday

"Many a false step is made by standing still." 

Earlier this year, while on a trip to visit friends in LA, I made a pit stop to Urban Outfitters and a little disposable camera caught my eye. "Fortune Camera" is what it was called - a random fortune printed on every shot. "That seems pretty cool," I said to myself, and straight to the checkout line I went. Well, fast forward to 10 months later and I finally got around to finishing up my camera and developing the film. There were some silly shots, some sad shots, and the walk down memory lane was an interesting one. Then, one fortune stopped me in my tracks: "Many a false step is made by standing still." I stopped and stared at the photo and thought about the past six months. If you've been wondering why my Wisdom Wednesdays have taken a halt in the last couple of months, the short answer is I was very much in a rut with every aspect of my life. It wasn't until the beginning of this month that everything finally started to fall into place again. And why is that, you might ask? Because I started moving again. And by that I mean I made a change to keep going. I stopped standing still and decided that it was time to get back into my old step and to focus on all the things that have made me happy. And now, we're only a week or so away from another new year. What a great time to stop standing still and to get moving. Why wait for 2013 to arrive? Just start moving now.

Happy Wednesday, everyone. It's good to be back. 

Wisdom Wednesday

"Forever is composed of nows." -- Emily Dickinson

Hey there. Have you missed me? I know Wisdom Wednesday has taken a bit of break for the last couple of weeks. But, hopefully like you, I've missed my weekly reflections. In any case, this week's wisdom is short, sweet, and part of the reason for my blogging hiccups these last few weeks: Forever is composed of nows. It's a very simple concept to understand, but a very hard one to grasp. Think about it. Every day, we are all working towards something in the future - a future job, a future home, a future relationship, you name it. But, how often do you realize that while you're working on the forevers of tomorrow, all the todays turn into yesterdays? It's really great to work towards a future goal (you know that I'm in full support of that), but it's also really important to remember that achieving the dreams of tomorrow and forever all start with the moments of today. I've made a point in the last few weeks to take time for myself and really appreciate each and every one of these moment. When I'm tired and I feel like having a lazy day (and believe me, I sometimes have a lot of those days), I remember that time is something you don't get back. If I can work, then I work. If I can get outside and enjoy the day, then I enjoy. If I have any spare time to get something done, then I grab it and make use of every second. I've come to realize that these are my moments in life and I want to make sure none go wasted.  Today, tomorrow, forever - they're all the same. So, my advice? Make sure you are enjoying the journey of today, while you're on the road towards your dreams of tomorrow, forever, and everything else in between. Pit stop breaks or stops to smell the flowers are also a-ok.

Happy Wednesday, everyone.

Wisdom Wednesday

"One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation." -- Arthur Ashe

"Rockin' Everywhere" Look book, LF Stores, Spring 2012 

You never know when the moment is going to hit you. What moment? The moment that lives in your dreams. The moment that changes everything. The moment. So, while you are busy dreaming up that moment, dream up your drafts on how you will get there and how you will make darn sure that once it arrives, you are ready, in every single way, to take it. And not just take it. Take it; run with it; make it yours. Success is such a loaded word, as I've often discussed. But, one component of being successful is being confident. Successful people know, confidently (and not cockily), that their dreams aren't just dreams...they are realities waiting to happen. And how are they so sure? Because, they're not just waiting for their dreams to happen. They are working towards those dreams each and every day, planting the seeds, making them grow, slowly, but surely. Successful people are confident that they are going to make things happen. Confident people are prepared to make things happen. And what about the "luck" factor? Well, really, what is "luck?" It's opportunity meeting preparation. The moment that changes everything often only comes once. You have to be confident in your abilities to seize the moment, but more importantly, you must be prepared enough to handle it once it is there.

Wisdom Wednesday

“When men speak ill of thee, live so as nobody may believe them.” -- Plato

"The Weekender" Look book, Love and Bravery 

Today's post is going to be a short one. I'm a bit under the weather and any minute now, the two spoonfuls of Tylenol cold & flu cough syrup I took will set in before I have enough time to write a coherent post. In any case, today's wisdom is a just a simple reminder to live a life you will be proud of when it's time to look back on it. In the end, I truly believe it won't matter where you went to college, what kind of job you had, how much money you made, or what kind of stuff you had. What will matter is the content of your character and how you treated others. So, live a kind life. I guarantee that when you are kind, good things will always come your way.  No one forgets a kind heart.

Wisdom Wednesday

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.” -- Wayne Dyer

"Springside Bowl" Look Book, LuLu's, Spring 2012

The other day, I read this quote that a friend had posted as a status. I sat there for a few minutes really contemplating whether or not I liked the quote. Then I came to the conclusion that its raw and tough-love-like nature was a perfect reminder for all to hear.

I can never understand why people always complain so much. Here we have a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black, because I'm quite guilty of whining over things from time to time. I would like to think that I have been much more mindful of it, as of late, but that might just be wishful thinking. In any case, complaining can only take you so far. You whine, you feel sort of better after letting go of some inner angst, and then you think about it again and feel upset. Sound familiar? If not, it certainly does with me. But really think about the act of complaining. What does it get you aside from maybe 10 minutes of relief after you've expressed your dissatisfaction for a certain situation or a certain someone? Nothing, really. So why not just channel all the anger, sadness, worry, pain, whatever it is you feel towards something better? Let it motivate you. Let it help you. Do not wallow in pain and don't let someone dictate how you feel. You are in charge of you. Be better. Waste your time crying over spilled milk, or clean up the milk and get moving to get some more. In the end, all the choices we make are our own. So, be miserable, or be motivated.

>> And as a special Wednesday treat, don't forget that you still have time to get 15% off your total order when you enter STACKER at checkout on LuLus.com! Valid from 3/22/12-3/29 for US and Canada Residents only. <<